Shit Happens By: Justin Grant
What if when Gohan and Goku were training on the Hiberbolic Time Chamber, and they were in the tub splashing water back and forth, that Gohan accidentally launched a Ki blast and it knocked out Goku's eyes. Than Goku says, “AHHH! God damn it Gohan why the hell did you do that!? Now how am I supposed to fight Cell when I can't see?!!”
Then Gohan says, “Father I'm sorry I didn't mean to it was an accident!”
“No excuses just please go train or something!” Than Gohan ran out and screamed his head off and for no reason used a kamehameha blast and blew off his head. Then Goku screams, ”NNNOOOOO!!!!!”
But no matter what he did Gohan was dead and since the blast was so powerful it made the whole Chamber explode!! Then outside everyone looks in awe and screams out, “Goku!!! Gohan!!! NNNOOOO!!!”
After they stopped yelling Vegeta laughed hysterically, and announced, “HAHAHAHA!!! Now that Kakarot is dead and am the prince of all saiyans once again!!” Then after he calms down very quickly he powers up than shoots Ki blasts in all directions killing almost everyone except Trunks and Krillin who barely survived. Then laughing still he flies up into the air and screams out “Big Bang attack!!!” Then the attack finally kills all of the people on Kame's lookout and also destroys it and that place below it where the cat guy and Yajerobi live.
Then when the Cell games start he is still the first one to show up but this time he immediately kills the news crew and Percule and the other guys that come. After that Cell calmly asks him “So you are the only one here to challenge me? What a pity this whole planet is going to be destroyed. So… Tell me what happened to the others?”
“There all dead Kakarot died in the training chamber and I killed the rest, are you happy!? Now lets get this started android! This time no games! I'm going to kill you once and for all!!”
“Well I'm glad you have a good spirit Vegeta.” Then they started to fight and almost immediately Vegeta was killed (Cell Kicked him straight through the stomach and Vegeta exploded instantly) and Cell destroyed the Earth and flew off to conquer other galaxies and destroy them. So Cell became the most powerful being in the universe until Brolli came. Brolli killed Cell almost immediately, just like Cell killed Vegeta. So then Brolli ruled the universe for a long 5 years of destroying planets and killing all that opposed him. Everyone was fearful of Brolli until Janemba came. Since he was so powerful Brolli could not survive. And with his last attempt he tried to use the biggest blast he could to destroy everything. But it didn't work and Janemba just used his little portal technique and made Brolli's own blast come out behind him and destroyed the legendary super saiyan and for no reason he screamed out, “KA… KAKAROTTO!!!!” Finally exterminating all the saiyans there were.
So than Janemba became the strongest fighter and showed no mercy to any planets. But sooner or later his greed was to great so all the different types of species constructed the biggest nuke they could. Then they launched it at him and it was big enough to destroy a whole galaxy! The nuke hit Janemba and incinerated both Janemba and the galaxy he was in. Then the people rejoiced, wrote a constitution for their new alliance thing and called it the United Stated of America!
The End
Carl's comment: It's true to its title, and just to confuse you even more I leave you with this: Bardock comes back from the dead and kills those US citizens that are aliens, then kills his zombie self, the end; everyone is dead.